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Living on the ‘Net

According to experts - millions of people are just a click away from becoming Internet addicts.

This is no joke. In fact, China has already set up treatment centers for this disorder.

Doctors liken it to gambling, alcoholism and drug abuse. They say it’s a real clinical disorder, most commonly effecting teenagers and young people.

Did you know that worldwide, Internet addicts are mostly engaged in five activities- pornography, Internet shopping, gaming, virtual social networking and cyber-surfing.

Researchers blame parents for the epidemic. They say teens are getting hooked to the ‘net because of lack of family time and extra-curricular activities.

I would have to agree to a certain extent. But where does that leave adults? I can honestly say that I may have an Internet addiction myself. I have children to tend to and hobbies I like to indulge in, yet I’m still called to the computer; to my email, to my blog, to my Facebook page.

I probably do need help - along with the millions of others out there. But am I really going to give up my time on the Internet to kick my habit?

No way!

I’m here to stay - and so are today’s teens.

This post was written by: Erin

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Random Tales, Loving Anecdotes From an Attachment Parent

January 7th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Brilliant Blogs, Gold Star Sites, Parenting

Attachment parenting.

It’s a very controversial topic. Parents are either for it or against it. There’s hardly a grey area.

The reason for this hard line is really quite simple. Just look at its definition.

  • …extended breast feeding, co-sleeping, non-violence towards children, and carrying or otherwise being with babies (especially newborns) every hour of the day. Underlying these ideas is the basic philosophy that parenting is about really loving each stage of your child’s life, from newborn to toddler, infant to kid, child to teen.

Whether you consider yourself an attachment parent or not - ANY parent will love this blog I’ve just discovered, written by Dave Taylor. Dave happens to be a single dad and an attachment parent. And while the attachment parenting theme is sprinkled throughout his site, Dave’s stories and anecdotes are loving and quite amusing.

Check out a few of his recent posts and excerpts:

FDA Approves Latisse: Drug to Lengthen Your Eyelashes

  • Are we living in an age where people are really going to use prescription drugs to lengthen their eyelashes, even without us fully understanding the side-effects or potential interactions between Latisse and other drugs people might well take?
  • Common side effects? They’ll be listed as “eye redness, itchy eyes, and skin hyperpigmentation.”
  • Yech.

What’s With Streamers Being Thrown at MLS Soccer Games?

  • This is something I’ve watched for many years with growing discomfort and disgust. It’s one thing to cheer your team on, yell and sing team songs to get them fired up to win a game, and something entirely different to yell mean spirited, offensive and hostile things to the other team or players to distract or upset them and throw off their game.

The Anniversary of My Daughter’s Conception

  • I can remember everything about the evening, where Linda and I ate and were staying, our laughter-filled visit to Victoria’s Secret and what we bought there, all of it a crystal clear memory that’s unusual for me.
  • Twelve years later, I am quite in love with the little nipper, she’s the proverbial apple of my eye, along with my other two terrific children.

As you’ll see, Dave’s as quirky as much as he’s caring and compassionate. This is a great read for any parent!

This post was written by: Erin

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How to Make Twitter Work for You

Move over LinkedIn. Move over want ads. Move over Monster.com.

Want to find a job?

A simple tweet on Twitter can help you do it.

Teens and adults alike are using and abusing the social networking to land part-time jobs - even careers.

How you ask?

Well first, I want to point out how Twitter works.

Users, known as Twitterers, post short updates that appear in their online profiles. They can choose to follow each other’s updates, called tweets, and respond either publicly through posts or privately via direct message. All entries must be 140 characters or less.

Now, if you haven’t alread done so, you will need to build a profile that shows your interests. Because you have no more than 140 characters to describe yourself in your bio, use key words that reveal your goals - even if it’s just looking for a part-time job in the Metro West Boston area.

Most users get emails alerting them about new followers, and may choose to follow you as well if your biography and tweets get their attention. You can initiate conversations with other users by responding to their tweets.

Now here’s where the real job hunting comes into play.

If you’re looking for an after school gig, simply send out a tweet. Your followers may know a friend-of-a-friend who’s looking for a cashier at the local grocery store. A recent Wall Street Journal article mentioned the story of Alexa Scordato. When she looked for a job she didn’t email or call her contacts about possible openings. Instead, she messaged them via Twitter.

Her brief message: “Hey there! Looking for a Social Media job up in Boston. Are you guys doing any entry level hires?”

Within a week, she had an interview. Within two weeks, she had a job.

The key though to job hunting on Twitter is your following. Without followers - there is no word of mouth.

Experts also have this advice about tweeting on Twitter:

  • Never twitter about anything you wouldn’t want your boss or mother to see, and tell your friends to keep their tweets to you appropriate.
  • Be careful about publicizing your job hunt on Twitter if you don’t want your boss reading about it. But if you’re unemployed, sending an occasional tweet that explains the kind of job you’re looking for could yield responses from recruiters. You can also seek jobs being promoted on the site by searching for phrases like “job opening.”
  • Twittering about your personal life is fine, to an extent — it’s something most Twitterers do. But keep it to a minimum.

Tweet. Tweet.

This post was written by: Erin

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Facebook’s Breast Ban

Rumor has it Facebook is cracking down on breasts.

I’m not talking about pornography here. I’m talking about breastfeeding.

Apparently Facebook recently found a group of “breastfeeding” photos so offensive, it removed them citing that they were a “violation of its terms of service.”

Now before I go on here, I must talk more about the pictures in question. I did a little digging and according to fellow blogger Michelle Smith (who, incidentally, has a very cool site) the images do not show a baby latched on to a mother’s breast. In fact, the pictures show a woman with exposed breasts obviously either getting ready to nurse, or just finishing. And that, Facebook says, is not in keeping with its “safe and secure” policy for children.

I have to admit that when I first read about this, I was alarmed and angry at Facebook.  My initial reaction was, “Since when is breastfeeding considered offensive?”

But after learning of the real nature of the photos, I realized the images were not of breastfeeding at all. They were, quite frankly, pictures of topless women. I do find this to be problematic. Would I want my child checking this out on Facebook? No way.

Michelle Smith writes that removing the ‘breast’ photos from Facebook sends a wrong to young girls. In truth, I believe, keeping the photos up on the site is what really sends the wrong message. It is said that when the pictures were still on Facebook, users were posting comments, likening breastfeeding to public acts of defecation, urination, vomiting and sexual intercourse. One poster even commented on the look of the lactating breasts with horror and disgust.

Now tell me that doesn’t send the wrong message to young mothers!

Breastfeeding is beautiful - and it’s a woman’s God given right. Let’s not exploit it and turn it into something it’s not. I think Facebook actually has the right idea here.

This post was written by: Erin

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World’s Talented Teens Appear on Oprah

January 5th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Cyber Culture, Parenting, Teen Issues, Tweens

We all know that when Oprah speaks the country listens. She is the single most influential TV personality in history - and will likely remain so for the foreseeable future.

I don’t usually watch Oprah. I’m too busy wrangling children at 4pm to really sit down and enjoy her guests. But last Friday was different. During a rare, but blissful child rearing lull, I flipped on Oprah and watched her showcase some of the world’s most talented teens. The show was absolutely incredible.

Oprah featured a return guest, 16-year-old  Charice Pempengco of the Philippines. Charice had been on Oprah’s show in May 2008, but was back by popular demand. Her story is incredible.

In the small Filipino village where Charice lived as a child, there wasn’t much to sing about. When Charice was 3 years old, she says she remembers seeing her father fly into a fit of rage and take out his anger on her mother. She says she watched as he choked and attacked her.

Charice says the argument escalated, and her dad grabbed a shotgun and pointed it at her mom. “My dad was about to shoot my mom, and I couldn’t do anything,” she says.

Neighbors heard screams and broke down the door just in time. Fraternidad, a former neighbor, remembers it clearly. “The gun [was] pointed to the mother and then the children are crying,” she says.

Charice and her mother escaped with their lives. “We left my dad, and after that, I never saw him and I don’t want to see him,” she says. “I’m just singing now for my mom. I didn’t help her before. That’s why I want to help her now.”

When Charice was just 4 years old, her mom discovered her talent for the first time. “She thought the radio [was] playing,” Charice says. “She went to the living room, and she saw me singing and she was, like, ‘Oh, my gosh. She’s singing.’”

A few years later, Charice entered a singing contest. “Some people [were] saying that I’m not good enough and I’m not pretty,” she says. “I just wanted to prove that they’re wrong.”

When Charice first decided to enter competitions, her mother was working 16 hours a day, six days a week at a garment factory. Charice signed up for more than 80 contests to help support her family. “I really want[ed] to help Mom,” she says. “When I’m joining singing contests, and I won some $50, she was, like, ‘Okay, we’re going to have some food for one month, and we’re very happy.’”

After years of struggling financially—even being homeless—Charice has been able to use her contest winnings to help her mother pay for an apartment in a nice neighborhood. Charice now has her own room where she can draw, sing, play the guitar and continue to dream. “I think this is a big improvement because we’re more peaceful, and we’re happy,” she says.

In her bedroom, Charice has a notebook where she keeps drawings of the singers she idolizes, like Celine Dion. “I can say this is my dream notebook,” she says.

Charice can now say her dreams are beginning to come true.

You can watch Charice and other teen sensations sing right on Oprah’s web site. They are amazing - and so uplifting.

This post was written by: Erin

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The Debate over Web Site Ratings

The British secretary of state for culture, media, and sports, Andy Burnham, recently told The Daily Telegraph that he thinks “cinema-style ratings” should be placed on all Web sites to grade them based on their content and decency. According to Burnham, the Web is “a dangerous place” and we need to do a better job of ensuring children don’t make their way to the wrong sites. He believes that by using the ratings system already imposed on films, it could do the world a great deal of good.

Now, I must admit this notion of web site ratings is new to me and at first glance I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. Movies have them. Video games have them. So why not web sites? Wouldn’t parents have better peace of mind if they could block sites rated “MA” (Mature Audience) rather than red flagging key words like “sex” or “nude women?”

But one guy - Don Reisinger - at CNET News really has it out for this rating system idea. His rant earlier this week really got my blood boiling - which I’m sure was intentional.

Feast your eyes.

The idea that anyone would want to place ratings on Web sites strikes me as, well, one of the dumbest Ideas I’ve heard in a long time. It’s not that I’m against keeping kids away from questionable content. I simply don’t know how a ratings system could do any good.

Age verification on the Web is disastrous. How many times have you been to a site that requires age verification, left the month and day alone, and changed the year to something like 1950 to get in? I’m willing to bet 90 percent of all the people on the Web were born on January 1.

Realizing that, what makes anyone believe a ratings system would work? If it doesn’t stop young teenagers from sneaking into a rated-R movie, what makes anyone think it will keep them out when they’re in the privacy of their home surfing the Web?

I know, I know: this ratings system is for parents! Right. I’m sure there are a slew of parents out there who would look at ratings each time their children surf the Web and I would commend them for that. But I’m also willing to bet that there are some parents that would either see these ratings for what they are–a waste of time–or ignore them altogether.

Think about it–how is it possible to rate any Web site? If you had to take a guess, what would you rate CNET.com? PG? PG-13? R? I’m sure anyone can make the case for any rating. But for our purposes, let’s just say that the ratings board chose PG. In other words, children can go to CNET.com based on the content we create on the site.

But what about the comments? What about some of the hate-filled, vituperation readers place on different stories across the site? Sure, the article itself is fine for children, but calling others names, cursing, or using other generally unaccepted language probably isn’t rated PG, right? Realizing that, maybe we should rate the content PG, but the comments R. But then again, not all the comments are bad and many are educational. Should we then start rating individual comments? If so, who will be given that menial task?

Rating a movie is one thing, but trying to place those ratings onto a Web site is ridiculous. There are too many people providing too much content on too many sites for it to make any sense. In other words, the Web, unlike film, is not a controlled environment.

Don raises a few good points. Yes, age verification on the web is horrendous. Who’s really to say someone is 9 or 19?

And comments. They tend to be riddled with foul language.

But those points alone are not enough to rule out a thorough system that may one day shield our children from inappropriate content.

If there’s a will there’s a way. We just have to find it.

This post was written by: Erin

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OMG! Online Dating For Teens!

Yesterday I posted a piece about a Dad who was coming to grips with having a daughter of dating age.  Of course, we all have to pass through a process of learning how to be a strong, proper partner to the opposite sex, and this is a natural rite of passage for all teens. At the same time, dating can lead to pressures of all kinds. It can take away from one’s attention on classes and grades, and it can lead to sexuality and all the risks that go with it.

Now that the Internet is with us - and is probably a big part of your teen’s life - we find a new feature on the teen dating landscape: ONLINE DATING FOR TEENS!

I am a bit surprised by this phenomenon. When I was a teen, my folks were rather lukewarm about dating. I chased girls more than some, less than others, but I also understood that it wasn’t necessarily a high priority to be dating-with-a-purpose or get involved in a serious relationship. For me, it is a bit hard to understand why a teen would be spending the kind of time and energy it takes to search online for a boy/girlfriend.

On the other hand, kids dating is an important step, and online dating has a lot of benefits compared to meeting just anybody in some less-than-kosher teen hook-up situation. So with an open mind and a desire for your feedback here are some tips for ONLINE DATING FOR TEENS! Check these out and leave a comment

  • Be informed about the pros and cons of online dating. If unsure as to what to expect, talk to someone who has used the services of an online dating agency. Also talk to your parents or guardians about anything that you are unsure of. Always remember, the dating experience should be a memorable one!
  • Remember not to reveal your true identity unless you find a relationship is working out. This will help you avoid the embarrassment associated with a relationship not working out. Do not take rejection harshly; just use this as an opportunity to learn about people and their qualities through conversations.
  • Do not misinterpret signs of dating violence such as possessiveness, jealousy and sexual pressure as a sign of love. These could be warning signs of abuse.
  • If you are in a violent relationship, talk to someone who will help you recognize the warning signs and provide you with support to help deal with the relationship. Remember not to keep things bottled up inside, it will only cause you pain and heartache!

Find more information here.

This post was written by: Joe Nolan

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Lessons on Giving in ‘09

January 2nd, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Parenting, Teen Issues, Tweens

It’s 2009. Time to embrace a new year. Most of us are optimistic about the year ahead because, quite frankly, things couldn’t get much worse than they did in 2008.

I, for one, have big plans in ‘09. I plan to give my kids the gift of giving. No more of this “me, me, me” stuff. In 2009, it’s all about helping others.

I came to this realization the other day when my daughter pointed to a homeless man and asked me why he looked “dirty and smelly.” While I tried my best to explain that the man didn’t have a place to live, I knew my daughter just didn’t get it. And why should she? She’s 4-years-old.

But by the time 2009 is over, she’ll get it big time.

I want to teach my kids to appreciate what they have and feel compassionate for those who don’t have anything at all: food, shelter, a family. By giving to those less fortunate, we can bring a little light to people who otherwise live in a very dark place.

One of my favorite blogs, Wellness Kids, recently posted a discussion on this topic. Yet, they went one step further by posting these benefits of giving and ways children can give. Check ‘em out.

Benefits of teaching your kids to be charitable:

  • 1. Kids gain perspective. They see firsthand the hardships that others endure and may possibly appreciate their own abundance.
  • 2. Kids develop compassion. Hearing about the hardships of others helps to develop compassion and a broader world view.
  • 3. Kids realize they can make a difference.Kids learn that they have the power to bring dignity, hope, and joy to others.
  • 4. Kids feel proud. Kids want to make a positive impact and feel like contributing members of society.

Ways to give:

  • 1. Bring breakfast to the homeless.
  • 2. Make homemade gifts and deliver them to sick children or the elderly.
  • 3. Adopt a family by bringing them food or necessities during the week. You can find a family in need through your church or the Salvation Army.
  • 4. Volunteer as a family at a homeless shelter or nursing home.
  • 5. Donate toys to toys-for-tots or clothes to the Salvation Army.

There are some many ways to give and, really, we have no excuse not to.

This post was written by: Erin

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Virginity Pledges a Farce!

If your teen tells you he or she intends to remain a virgin until marriage - take it with a grain of salt. According to a new study, many kids have no intention on staying virgins even if they do make a solemn pledge.

Upsetting. I know.

According to a recent study in the American Academy of Pediatrics, teenagers who take a pledge of abstinence until marriage are just as likely to engage in premarital sex and are LESS likely to use protection!!!

What is so outwardly strange about these findings is that researchers say teens who pledge their virginity tend to be more religious, more conservative, and less interested in sex. So why are they having it - and then lying about it?

I guess that’s the million dollar question because researchers can’t seem to figure it out either.

Virginity is sacred. It should be cherished and held close to the heart. But many teens take it for granted. Some even can’t wait to give it up.

If you are one of those kids who is about to enter a sexual relationship for the first time - be smart! While you may be saying goodbye to your virginity, always say hello to condoms.

Parents feel free to chime in on this one anytime.

This post was written by: Erin

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A Great Way To Start The New Year

January 2nd, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Parenting, Teen Issues

I wanted to take a second to pass on a great tradition a friend of mine passed on to me for a great new year.

As I have been exploring in recent posts, most of us start off January with wind in our sails, our heads in the clouds full of ideals and lofty goals, resolving that “this year will be different”. Even though I know my gym will be packed for the next few weeks, I know it won’t last. Most of the time change comes harder than that.

I think this will help!

This is a great activity for New Year’s Eve, but there is no  reason you can’t do this project with your friends or family anytime in the month of January:

  1. Gather friends and family together. You’ll need pens and paper for everyone.
  2. Write yourself a letter! Tell yourself what you expect of the new year. Remind yourself of the goals you plan to achive - and the person your’d like to be -  in 2009.
  3. Put your letter in an envelope.
  4. 4. Address it to yourself.
  5. 5. Trade your letter with one of the other people participating in your project.

At some point in the year - whenever you choose - mail your friend’s letter back to them. They will do the same. At some point in the next 12 months each of you will receive the letter you wrote to yourself, reminding you of clarity of purpose you began the year with.

I love this tradition! Tell me what you think! Leave a comment and share a tradition of your own!

Happy New Year everyone, and thanks for reading these posts!

This post was written by: Joe Nolan

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